Expectations vs Experience

Having arrived safely back home I guess it is time to do a bit of a review.

I looked at my post “My love / hate list after one week” and had to smile. I can still see myself… excited like a child on a birthday, wanting to love Bangalore with all my might. Well, I haven’t managed to learn to love Bangalore, but I do have more perspective by now, a deeper understanding why things are the way they are, developed sympathies and utter disgust for certain things…

So, what did I actually expect when we came here? I knew India would be very different to every other place I had ever been to. I have done extensive travelling in Europe, I have explored southern Africa and have occupied some rubber floats going down rivers in eastern Siberia. But I knew, India would be a different category.

Ganesha

First of all I expected it to be extremely colourful – literally and figuratively. And yes, that it has been. The colours of the sarees of the women and their glitzy jewellery, the colours of the temples, the colours of the fruit of the markets, bright friendly paints in some villages, the pictures on many long walls of Bangalore, flowers, butterflies… The variety of religions and traditions, the endless number of stories of the hindu gods, the many different landscapes in Kerala…

I expected it to be hot. And yes, it was hot. In the beginning we had a dry heat, later it got more humid. I wore a cardigan a couple of times in the evening against the mozzies, otherwise I didn’t need anything long sleeved.

Crowded and loud. Yes, but the amount of crowdedness and loudness exceeded all expectations. The density of people in the city was overwhelming. You are never alone anywhere. And when the side streets got a bit quieter at night, the dogs would take over. And it was never quiet anywhere at any time. I slept poorly most nights, so I know that the quietest time is between 3 and 4 in the morning, but still I heard the dogs howling and the occasional motorbike driving. By day the traffic of the main streets produces a cacophony of honking and motor noises, in the quiet street you just get the vegetable and newspaper sellers shouting for customers.

Friendly. Yes and no. Some people were incredibly kind, others just turned away, but I guess that’s what you can get in Australia as well. I didn’t see as many smiles as I had expected… smiling, happy children were something special. A lot of friendliness was fishing for tips. Who can you trust?

Tasty. Oh yes, the spicy Indian food is wonderful. I tasted so many new and interesting dishes, aromatic, so full of flavour! I had not expected that it would be so difficult to get non-Indian food and also the ingredients for dishes / cooking the way we are used to. We ate out more often than I had anticipated a) because it was cheap, b) because it was so tasty, c) because it was hard to cook at home. Our kitchen in the apartment wasn’t very well equipped. You could get by… just the lack of an oven is hard to overcome by improvisation. As I couldn’t get my usual ingredients I took to cooking rice dishes, veg curries and things like that. But then again, this was food we would eat when being out… bit of a dilemma.

Cheap. Yes, the basic food we bought, bread, milk, fruit, veg, pasta, rice, water etc. is very cheap. If you want to buy European food like cheese, ham, tins and jars imported from abroad, you can in special shops like Nature’s basket on 80 feet road, but it will cost you more than in Australia. Eating out is very cheep, especially in unposh Indian style restaurants. But there is no limit in poshness and price for the well earning middle class…
Clothes are relatively cheap, especially Indian clothes. Fabric is cheap and tailors as all services where the main cost is labour.

I expected  Bangalore would be a modern big city comparable to any other big city in the world. Grainne even said there was no point going to Bangalore as it would be just the same as anywhere else. I assumed there would be fair amount of white people here with all the international IT companies, that English would be the main language, that we would see a good mix of people from all over the world. None of that. The cities of India are certainly much higher developed than rural India, the standard of living way up… still, this is India. From the cultural richness to the slums, from the glorious temples to the steaming mountains of rubbish – I would not mistake this for any other city I have been to. White people are  rare. Especially white children. Trying to be as respectful as possible with Indian clothing and behaviour we still got stared at everywhere. Complete strangers kept taking pictures of the children. We once went into a souvenir shop in the middle of the city and the shop keeper said to us that he had seen has walking by his other shop in Koramangala – 10km away in an 8 million people city. He was not lying, there was no other family with 3 white children in Koramangala.
And English is not a main language. Most people understand a least a little bit when spoken to face to face, different story on the phone obviously. To find somebody speaking well is much harder. This is not a criticism, I just hadn’t expected it…

Our local park, anything allowed?

I couldn’t wait to see the lush green parks of the so called garden city Bangalore. Well, this was a bit of a disappointment. Yes, there are several parks dotted around the city, even Koramangala had a few. But… well… they are different to what I had expected. First of all, apart from the huge Cubbon Park in the heart of the city and the Botanic Gardens, they are all relatively small. Second they are fenced off (probably to keep away cows and rubbish) and have certain opening times, usually mornings and evenings. If you come at the right times you still have to keep to the endless rules… no walking on the lawns, no playing, etc.
What I admired instead were the magnificent rain trees, jacaranda and flame trees that line many quieter streets providing blissful shade under the merciless sun.

I was looking forward to strolling around huge markets laden with exotic fruits and spices, wonderful fabrics and colourful clothing. And yes, we found several markets. One was in fact very close to us – Madivala Market. And it was laden with fruit and veg, otherwise with flowers for offerings, fish, some household items and… rubbish. The rubbish was piling up between the stalls and in gaps in front of them. Rotting piles of vegetables can produce a surprisingly disgusting smell… that seemed to be all too attractive for  diarrhoeal cows. When you think about it, it’s not actually too surprising, that there is a lack of picturesque, touristy markets as shown on TV in Bangalore, as this is not touristy city, still… I hadn’t expected this kind of… I don’t know… it was just too dirty and smelly to be in any way appealing.

I had hoped we would be able to hire a piano for Siobhan and get a teacher come to our apartment. This, unfortunately didn’t work out at all. We managed to find one shop where we could have hired a grubby looking keyboard at a reasonable price, which my daughter refused for the stickiness of the keys. The only place I found for hiring pianos was astronomically expensive.
We did though find a chess coach for Sean during the last few weeks who spent many hours teaching our son openings, endgame strategies and many other useful chess knowledge.

I expected to do a lot of travelling, maybe for a holiday towards the south of India, but also for many weekends in the surrounds of Bangalore. And yes, we had a wonderful holiday touring Kerala. An unforgettable time leaving countless impressions that gonna stay with us for the rest of our lives. But otherwise we didn’t travel a lot. Savandurga in the beginning was probably our only proper day trip out of town. Several reasons for this… a) transport. Ordering cabs proved to be quite difficult and unreliable. b) it took 1 – 2 hours to get to the outskirts of town alone, c) accomodation at holiday destinations can be rather expensive for foreigners, d) destinations in easy reach of this 8 million people city are described as overrun and polluted. Pollution is a big thing in general. Still in Australia, as soon as we had got the address of our apartment, I had studied the area on Google maps. I was very excited to see two lakes nearby with paths going round them and could see us already walking happily on our Sunday strolls around the beautiful lakes. As it turned out these lakes were fed by the sewer rivers of the town, smelling that you want to hold your breath, the banks piled with garbage.

I knew we would see poverty. I didn’t know how close we would come to it. And yes, we did see poverty. And it was right in our face. Every day. As soon as we left the house. The security guard who asked us for money so he would be able to pay the school fees for his daughter. The big building site close to our apartment. A wooden board invites male workers, 200 rupees ($4 = a good meal in medium class restaurant = 100g of cheddar = a T-shirt in western style shopping centre) a day, 6 days per week, first aid kit on site. The workers lived beside the building site in make shift sheds, we could see them cleaning up by the water tank behind the low fence with a hose… Walking to our Yoga place we would pass several small building sites. Each one would house a tent made of blue foil, where the building family lived, often with children. No power, no running water… I remember peeking in as they were cooking by the road side on a fire built from some sticks, cleaning their dishes, cleaning teeth with their fingers, urinating on the road… and I feel helpless, embarrassed… I don’t know… Then the slums. Rows and rows of corrugated metal sheds. We never walked in… to embarrassed of stares and beggars… just got a glimpse passing by.

Kovalam fishing village

But as bad as the poverty made us feel, the differences were worse. This huge gap between the well off middle class and those people scraping along way below the poverty line. We, as outsiders, guests, foreigners, observers felt guilty enough spending half a month’s salary of a security guard or rubbish worker for a meal in a restaurant… what about all those Indian people sitting at the other tables? Did they think about it? Did they take it for granted…. to be better of than the “others”? I guess, most of the friends I made in India belong to this middle class… if you read this, can you answer this question – How do you live with this, seeing the poverty every day of your life and not really being able to do anything about it? Or are you? And I guess, I should ask myself, how do I live with this…
Yes, we have seen a lot of poverty. Being back here in Perth it nearly seems unreal. The poor in Bangalore and the even poorer out in the country… working their fields with oxen, tiny huts with the most basic interior, children so skinny, it breaks your heart…

Sean, Swami Krishnananda Saraswati, Grainne, Siobhan, Ravib

I had hoped to get a bit into Yoga and meditation during our stay. Well, yes, we certainly got into this. We found this wonderful place SURYA JYOTHI YOGA VEDANTA CENTRE, where Swami Krishnananda Saraswati and Ravibabu introduced us to basics techniques of Yoga including Proper Exercise (Asanas), Proper Breathing (Pranayama), Proper Relaxation (Savasana), Proper Diet (vegetarian), Positive Thinking (Vedanta) and Meditation (Dhyana). Attending the classes 3 mornings a week and practising at home has not only made us more flexible but gave us deep insights into a different way of life, into Hinduism and a spiritual approach. Our gurus were very kind and we learned invaluable lessons from them. Thank you so much Swami and Ravib!

I guess the biggest surprise all in all was how complicated day-to-day life can be. Just crossing roads filled with 8 chaotic lines of rick-shaws, busses, motorbikes, cars which generally only stop for cows. Walking along footpaths full of rubbish and gaping holes. Trying to get transport from one place to the other, explaining the way without speaking the native language and haggling about prices. Avoiding getting sick all the time, coping with the highly contaminated tap water. Feeding ourselves without being able to buy foods we are used to. Keeping the children happy without having a garden or parks to play in…

India, the most beautiful, colourful, amazing country. The most challenging daily life for myself. Land of contrasts and differences, land of richest history, seemingly decaying presence and endless potential. Land of spirituality and imagination. Land of sadness, poverty, death, chaos, smell. Land of happiness, riches and beautiful nature. A complicated mosaic, encrypted language… I understand bits of it, but I don’t think I’m going to find the key to decipher it completely. Do I even want to?
Whatever, I wouldn’t want to miss our India adventure for the world! It gave us a deep understanding of the world around us we could not have achieved in any other way, we learned so much. Our experiences are probably going to influence our future life, our values, our behaviour… and who we are.